Trending This Week

What do you call a skeleton who won the lottery?

A lucky stiff!

Why was the gardener so embarrassed?

He wet his plants!

What do you call a bear that loves camping in the rain?

A drizzly bear.

What do you call a dollar bill in a blender?

Liquid assets.

What did the campfire say to the marshmallow?

You're looking pretty toasty tonight.

Why did the sleeping bag file a complaint?

It was tired of being walked all over at the campsite.

What do you call a line of people waiting to buy sausage?

A link queue.

Why did the mother broom scold the baby broom?

Because it was sweeping past curfew!

I tried to write a joke about paper.

It was tearable.

Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject.

Now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.

What do you call Santa when he takes a break?

Santa Pause.

What do you call a musical cat that lives in the desert?

A sand-pianist.

Why did the Easter Bunny start doing stand-up comedy?

He had everyone hopping with laughter!

What did the shark say when it ate a clownfish?

That tasted a little funny!

Why did the chicken join a gym?

To work on its pecks.

What do you call a spider who's a great typist?

A web developer.

What did the big flower say to the little flower?

Hey there, bud!

Why did the smartphone need glasses?

It lost all its contacts.

Did you hear about the cheese who saved the world?

It was Legend-dairy!

Why did the chef get arrested?

He was caught beating eggs and whipping cream.