Dad Jokes for Work

What did the whiteboard marker say when it retired?

I've made my mark on this company.

Why did the temp worker bring a calendar to every meeting?

Their days were numbered.

What did the conference table say to the chairs?

I've got you all covered.

Why did the shredder quit its job?

It was tired of everyone feeding it garbage.

What do you call an employee who works in a mirror store?

Someone who can really see themselves in the job.

Why did the office door get promoted?

Because it was always open to new opportunities.

What do you call a report that's always late?

A deadline-r.

Why did the office supply closet win an award?

It was well-stocked with talent.

What did the HR rep say to the scarecrow applicant?

You're outstanding in your field, but we need someone inside the office.

Why did the lunch break file a grievance?

It was always getting cut short.

What did the boss say to the clock during layoffs?

Your time is up.

Why did the office worker bring a fan to the meeting?

Because the boss said they needed more circulation.

What do you call a boss who falls asleep during meetings?

A nap-tain of industry.

Why did the intern bring string to the office?

They wanted to tie up loose ends.

What did the manager say to the broken vending machine?

You really need to change.