Dad Jokes for Work

What did the tortilla chip say after winning the lottery?

I'm nacho average millionaire!

Why did the croissant call in sick?

It was feeling really flaky.

What did the blueberry say to the raspberry at the smoothie bar?

Quit being so seedy — blend in for once!

Why did the ramen refuse to retire?

It said it still had too much broth left in the tank.

What did the mayo say when the fridge door opened?

Close the door — I'm dressing!

Why couldn't the pepperoni keep a secret?

Because everything it said was a pizza the conversation.

Why did the waffle break up with the pancake?

It said, "You're too flat — I need someone with more depth."

What did the soup say to the sandwich at the diner?

We make a great combo — I'm the broth and you're the bread winner.

Why did the lasagna go to therapy?

It had too many layers to unpack.

What did the lime say when the lemon took credit for the margarita?

That's the zest of my work you're squeezing in on!

Why was the garlic bread so popular at school?

It was always toasty and never crusty with anyone.

What did the tofu say when accused of being bland?

I take on whatever role I'm given — I'm versatile, not tasteless.

Why was the stew always so philosophical?

It spent a lot of time simmering on things.

What did the whisk say to the eggs every morning?

Let me give you a good beating to start the day!

Why did the noodle get promoted?

It was great at using its noodle.