Short Dad Jokes

What did the Roman emperor say when his wife asked him to help with dinner?

I'll Caesar salad.

What happened when I bought a book about anti-gravity?

I couldn't put it down.

Why did the novel join the police?

It wanted to work undercover.

What do you call a book about watches?

It's about time!

What do you call a mystery novel in the freezer?

A cold case.

Why did the library book go to jail?

It was long overdue.

Why don't pennies ever win debates?

They always make the least cents.

What did the judge say to the counterfeit bill?

You're guilty of being two-faced.

Why did the dollar go to the doctor?

It was feeling a little green.

What do you call a fish that handles loans?

A loan shark.

What did the dollar say to the four quarters?

You've changed.

What did the flower say after it told a joke?

I was just pollen your leg!

Why was the scarecrow given a promotion?

He was outstanding in his field.

Why are potatoes such good detectives?

They keep their eyes peeled.

Why does coffee never start arguments?

It knows how to stay grounded.