Short Dad Jokes

I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth.

Now when I talk I have this weird axe scent.

My kid wants to be an archaeologist.

I told her that career is in ruins.

I wanted to take a bath but the water was too hot.

I decided not to — it was a heated decision.

I've got a phobia of over-engineered buildings.

It's a complex complex complex.

I asked my French friend if she likes to play video games.

She said Wii.

I used to be addicted to soap.

But I'm clean now.

My email password has been hacked.

That's the third time I've had to rename my cat.

I've been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants.

It's called Feefiphobia.

I tried to come up with a carpentry pun that woodwork.

I think I nailed it.

My friend says I'm too condescending.

That means I talk down to people.

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.

I'll let you know which comes first.

A cheese factory exploded in France.

Da brie was everywhere.

I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift.

But I couldn't find the manual.

My wife asked me to go get 6 cans of Sprite from the store.

I brought 7 Up.

I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went.

Then it dawned on me.