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What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?

The same middle name!

Why did the spelling bee champion never lose?

She always had the last word.

Why did the Egyptian pharaoh go to the dentist?

Because Egypt had de-Nile about its cavities!

Why did the backpack feel stressed?

It was carrying a lot of weight — especially in math.

What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to?

Plymouth Rock!

Why did the period break up with the question mark?

It was tired of all the questioning.

Why did the medieval knight always carry a pencil?

In case they needed to draw their sword!

Why was the dictionary always invited to parties?

It was the life of the definition.

Why did the student put his test in the freezer?

He wanted a cold, hard grade.

What kind of school do you go to if you're a giant?

High school.