Corny Dad Jokes

Why did the pencil get fired?

It kept making too many points in the meeting.

What do you call a coworker who tells jokes at the copier?

A real copy-comedian — they're always reproducing material.

Why did the accountant always look tired?

Because they lost their balance.

What did the filing cabinet say during the earthquake?

I'm really shaken but still organized!

Why did the employee bring binoculars to the meeting?

They heard it was about long-range planning.

What do you call a coworker who steals office supplies?

A staple offender.

Why did the marketing team go to the gym?

To work on their brand stretching.

What did the elevator say to its coworkers?

I'm tired of people pushing my buttons.

Why did the janitor get promoted to CEO?

Because he really cleaned up in business.

What do you call a meeting that starts on time?

A myth.

Why did the office plant get employee of the month?

Because it had great growth potential.

What did the sticky note say when it got promoted?

I've really stuck with this company!

Why did the office worker stare at the frozen orange juice can?

Because it said 'concentrate.'

What did the paper clip say on its first day at work?

I'm here to hold things together!

Why did the office worker tape their wallet shut?

They wanted to stop making liquid assets.