Corny Dad Jokes

What do ghosts wear when their eyesight gets bad?

Spooktacles!

Why did the belt get arrested?

For holding up a pair of pants!

Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?

Because demons are a ghoul's best friend!

What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin!

Why did the skeleton go to the party alone?

Because he had no body to go with!

What did the wallet say after Thanksgiving?

I'm stuffed!

What's a ghost's favorite ride at the amusement park?

The roller-ghoster!

Why don't bills ever feel lonely?

Because they always come in stacks!

Why did the vampire read the newspaper?

He heard it had great circulation!

What do you call a dinosaur that's good with money?

A budget-saurus — very thrifty with its nest egg!

What do witches use on their hair?

Scare spray!

Why did the coin go to the doctor?

It felt like it was losing its change!

What did the investor say to the stock market?

I find you very volatile — but I can't quit you!

What room does a ghost not need in a house?

A living room!

Why was the ATM always so calm?

It had great cash flow!