Dad Jokes for Work

What do you call a skeleton who goes out in the snow?

A numbskull!

Why do vampires always seem sick?

Because they're always coffin!

What do you call a ghost's favorite dessert?

I-scream!

Why did the mummy call in sick?

He was all wrapped up in something!

What do you call a werewolf with a fever?

A hot dog!

Why did the zombie break up with his girlfriend?

She kept stringing him along!

What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?

A sand-witch!

Why did the ghost get kicked out of the elevator?

He couldn't stop pressing everyone's buttons!

What did the Civil War general say to the pastry chef?

Nice work — your layers have real battle lines.

Why did the medieval king go to the orthodontist?

He wanted to get his crown straightened.

What did the Titanic say to the iceberg?

I can't believe you had the nerve — that was a real icebreaker.

Why did the Spartan warrior never lose at board games?

He always had a great defense strategy.

What did Benjamin Franklin say after his kite experiment?

That was truly shocking.

Why was the medieval blacksmith always stressed?

He had too many irons in the fire.

What did the Spanish conquistador say when he found gold?

This is a real treasure — Inca-redible!