Dad Jokes for Work

What did the runway say to the airplane?

You can always land on me — I'm very grounded.

Why did the tourist refuse to visit the cheese factory in Switzerland?

The whole thing felt too Gouda to be true.

What did the passport say after a long vacation?

I'm totally stamped out.

Why did the cruise ship go to school?

It wanted to improve its navigation skills — it kept getting C's.

What do you call a train that sneezes?

Achoo-choo.

Why did the backpacker bring a dictionary to Europe?

He wanted to have the last word in every country.

What did the hotel pillow say to the guest?

Don't worry, I've got you covered.

Why did the traveler bring a bar of soap to the airport?

He wanted a clean getaway.

What did the X-ray say to the broken leg?

I can see right through you.

Why did the chiropractor make a great politician?

He knew how to work the system — one vertebra at a time.

What did the allergist say to the anxious patient?

Don't worry, I'll get to the root of your reaction.

Why did the gastroenterologist write a memoir?

He had a real gut feeling about it.

What do you call a doctor who treats Transformers?

An auto-immune specialist.

Why did the ENT doctor love sailing?

He was always in-ear-ested in the canal.

What did the ophthalmologist say to the indecisive patient?

You really need to focus.