Dad Jokes for Work

Why did the polynomial break up with the monomial?

She found him too simple — she needed more terms.

What did the zero say to the negative number?

You really need to stay positive.

Why did the right triangle feel so confident?

Because it was always right.

What did the taxi say to the passenger who kept changing directions?

You're driving me crazy — and I'm the one with the meter.

Why don't mountains ever catch flights?

They prefer to peak on their own time.

What did the travel agent say to the volcano?

I lava good destination.

Why did the tourist sit on the clock tower in London?

He wanted to be on Big Time.

What do you call a pilot who bakes on the side?

Someone who's great at making turnovers at high altitude.

Why was the luggage always exhausted after a flight?

It was really carried away.

What did the tourist say when they saw the Grand Canyon?

Well, that's gorge-ous.

Why did the road trip playlist get so emotional?

It kept hitting all the right exits.

What do you call a vacation to a haunted castle?

A trip you'll never forget — it's truly en-ghosting.

Why did the atlas break up with the globe?

He felt like she was always spinning things.

What did the Eiffel Tower say to the Statue of Liberty?

You look riveting from across the pond.

Why do flight attendants make terrible secret keepers?

Because everything they say is on the overhead.