Short Dad Jokes

I just wrote a book on reverse psychology.

Please don't buy it.

I made a playlist of songs about sewing.

It's called my Spotify needle-drop.

My friend keeps making electricity puns.

They're truly revolting.

I used to be a professional poker player, but I lost my shirt.

Now I'm just dealing with it.

I just got a new job at a monastery.

The work is nun of your business.

I told the doctor I broke my arm in two places.

He said stop going to those places.

I just started a band called 999 Megabytes.

We haven't gotten a gig yet.

My electrician friend accidentally blew the power grid.

He's currently not working.

I used to run a dating service for chickens.

But I kept struggling to make hens meet.

I got hit in the head with a can of soda today.

Luckily it was a soft drink.

I tried to make a pencil with two erasers.

It was pointless.

My ceiling isn't the best, but it's up there.

It really tops everything else in the house.

I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes.

Now I have Heinz-sight.

My neighbor knocked on my door at 3 a.m. asking for sugar.

Luckily I was still up playing my drums.

I got a reversible jacket for my birthday.

I can't wait to see how it turns out.