Short Dad Jokes

I told my friend I was going to make a car out of macaroni.

She drove pasta.

What do you call a dinosaur that writes poetry?

A veloci-rhymer.

Why did the quilt go to college?

It wanted a higher degree of comfort.

What do you call an owl that does magic tricks?

Hoo-dini.

Why did the razor go to school?

To get a little sharper.

What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?

A candy baa.

Why did the tree fail its driver's test?

It kept branching off.

What do you call a noodle that's always telling the truth?

An honest-a pasta.

Why did the clock get hired immediately?

It had a lot of hands-on experience.

What do you call a bear that lost all its teeth at the candy store?

A gummy bear.

Why did the blanket file a police report?

It got sheet-faced and couldn't remember what happened.

What do you call a donkey with a PhD?

A smart ass.

Why did the boat have such low self-esteem?

Everyone kept telling it to get a hull of itself.

What do you call a vegetable that's also a plumber?

A leek fixer.

Why did the window go to the counselor?

It had too many panes.