Short Dad Jokes

What do you call a door that plays the drums?

A knock-knock musician.

Why did the calendar always win arguments?

It had the most dates.

What do you call a clam that works out?

A mussel.

Why did the candle feel left out?

Because it was always getting burned.

What do you call a group of crows performing Shakespeare?

A murder mystery.

Why was the belt sent to jail?

For holding up a pair of pants.

What do you call a sleeping bag that snores?

A nap sack.

Why did the beekeeper get promoted?

Because he always created a buzz at work.

What do you call a snowman with abs?

An abdominal snowman.

Why did the envelope go to therapy?

It felt too much pressure to keep things sealed.

What do you call a shoe that tells lies?

A sneaker.

Why did the lamp get invited to every party?

Because it always brightened the mood.

Why did the optometrist fail his exam?

He couldn't see the point.

What do you call a detective who solves crimes at the bakery?

An under-cover roll.

Why did the nail feel so important?

Because everyone kept hitting on it.