Short Dad Jokes

Why do vampires always seem sick?

Because they're always coffin!

What do you call a ghost's favorite dessert?

I-scream!

Why did the mummy call in sick?

He was all wrapped up in something!

What do you call a werewolf with a fever?

A hot dog!

Why did the zombie break up with his girlfriend?

She kept stringing him along!

What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?

A sand-witch!

Why did the ghost get kicked out of the elevator?

He couldn't stop pressing everyone's buttons!

Why did the medieval king go to the orthodontist?

He wanted to get his crown straightened.

Why did the Spartan warrior never lose at board games?

He always had a great defense strategy.

What did Benjamin Franklin say after his kite experiment?

That was truly shocking.

Why was the medieval blacksmith always stressed?

He had too many irons in the fire.

What did the Spanish conquistador say when he found gold?

This is a real treasure — Inca-redible!

Why did the mummy call in sick to work?

He was feeling a little wrapped up in things.

What did the samurai say to the comedian?

That joke was cutting edge.

Why was the history exam on Ancient Greece so hard?

Because all the answers were myth-leading.