Short Dad Jokes

What did the surgeon say before removing the patient's funny bone?

This might not be very humerus.

Why did the pharmacist become a DJ?

He was already great at dropping tablets.

What did the stethoscope say on Valentine's Day?

I only have ears for you.

Why did the orthopedic surgeon start a band?

He was great at setting bones and dropping beats.

Why did the school calendar break up with the planner?

Their days together were numbered.

Why was the school map always invited to parties?

It knew how to show everyone a good latitude.

Why did the school's WiFi go to counseling?

It had trouble making connections.

Why was the gym class rope so popular?

Everyone wanted to hang out with it.

What did the school bus say to the students on Monday?

I'm wheelie not ready for this week either.

Why did the lunch tray apply for a promotion?

It was tired of being pushed around.

Why did the school clock get detention?

It kept tocking in class.

Why did the teacher write on the window?

She wanted the lesson to be very clear.

Why was the algebra test so depressed?

It had too many problems it couldn't solve.

Why did the school computer keep sneezing?

It had a virus.

What did the pen say to the highlighter?

You really know how to make a point stand out.