Short Dad Jokes

What do you call a report that's always late?

A deadline-r.

Why did the office supply closet win an award?

It was well-stocked with talent.

Why did the lunch break file a grievance?

It was always getting cut short.

What did the boss say to the clock during layoffs?

Your time is up.

What do you call a boss who falls asleep during meetings?

A nap-tain of industry.

Why did the intern bring string to the office?

They wanted to tie up loose ends.

What did the manager say to the broken vending machine?

You really need to change.

Why did the pencil get fired?

It kept making too many points in the meeting.

Why did the accountant always look tired?

Because they lost their balance.

What did the filing cabinet say during the earthquake?

I'm really shaken but still organized!

Why did the employee bring binoculars to the meeting?

They heard it was about long-range planning.

What do you call a coworker who steals office supplies?

A staple offender.

Why did the marketing team go to the gym?

To work on their brand stretching.

What did the elevator say to its coworkers?

I'm tired of people pushing my buttons.

Why did the janitor get promoted to CEO?

Because he really cleaned up in business.