Short Dad Jokes

What do you call a meeting that starts on time?

A myth.

Why did the office plant get employee of the month?

Because it had great growth potential.

What did the sticky note say when it got promoted?

I've really stuck with this company!

Why did the office worker stare at the frozen orange juice can?

Because it said 'concentrate.'

What did the paper clip say on its first day at work?

I'm here to hold things together!

Why did the office worker tape their wallet shut?

They wanted to stop making liquid assets.

What do you call an employee who refuses to sit down?

Outstanding.

Why did the comet break up with the asteroid?

It said, "I need space, and you're too dense for me."

Why was the lab centrifuge such a good therapist?

It helped everyone separate their issues.

What did the petri dish say to the bacteria colony?

You've really grown on me.

Why did the glacier break up with the volcano?

Their relationship ran hot and cold.

Why was the recessive gene so humble?

It never got to express itself.

What did the seismograph say on a boring day?

Nothing's shaking — this job has its ups and downs.

Why was the periodic table feeling overwhelmed?

It had too many elements to deal with.

What did the paleontologist say at the surprise birthday party?

I dig this!