Short Dad Jokes

What did the telescope say to the microscope?

You really need to look at the bigger picture.

What did the biologist say when asked why they kept twins in the lab?

One's the control group.

Why did the photon check zero bags at the airport?

Because it was traveling light.

What did the RNA say when DNA got all the credit?

Without me, your message would never get delivered.

What did the mitochondria put on its dating profile?

I'm the powerhouse of this relationship.

Why did the neutron never get charged at the bar?

Because it always had no charge.

Why did the chili pepper write a memoir?

It had a really heated past.

What did the pita bread say to the regular bread?

You're good, but I've got more pockets than you.

Why did the cornbread apply for a leadership role?

It wanted to prove it was more than just a side.

What did the onion say to the chef who wouldn't stop cutting?

You're really making me tear up here.

What did the tortilla chip say after winning the lottery?

I'm nacho average millionaire!

Why did the croissant call in sick?

It was feeling really flaky.

Why did the ramen refuse to retire?

It said it still had too much broth left in the tank.

What did the mayo say when the fridge door opened?

Close the door — I'm dressing!

Why couldn't the pepperoni keep a secret?

Because everything it said was a pizza the conversation.