Short Dad Jokes

Why did the squirrel swim on its back?

To keep its nuts dry.

What do you call a really cold dog sitting on a rabbit?

A chili dog on a bun.

Why are dogs such bad dancers?

They have two left feet.

What do you call a bear stuck in the rain with no umbrella?

A drizzly bear.

Why did the chicken join a gym?

To work on its pecks.

What do you call a fish that needs help with its vocals?

Autotuna.

What do you call an ant who fights crime?

A vigil-ant-e.

Why don't lobsters share their dinner?

Because they're shellfish.

What kind of dog keeps the best time?

A watch dog.

Why did the wolf go to the flock's party?

He herd it was going to be great.

What do you call a camel with no humps?

Humphrey.

Why did the dalmatian hide from everyone?

He didn't want to be spotted.

What do you call a hen who counts her own eggs?

A mathemachicken.

Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?

He was always spotted.

What do you call two spiders that just got married?

Newlywebs.