Short Dad Jokes

What did the grape do when it got promoted?

It let out a little wine.

Why did the bicycle fall over at the debate?

It lost its balance of arguments.

Why did the musician bring a ladder to the gig?

To reach the high notes.

What do you call a factory that sells passable products?

A satisfactory.

Why did the coffee call the police?

It got mugged.

Why do opticians live so long?

Because they dilate.

What do you call a sleeping dinosaur's snack?

Dinosnores.

Why did the scarecrow win a Pulitzer?

He was outstanding in his field of journalism.

Why did the thesaurus break up with the dictionary?

It found a better way to say 'I love you.'

What do you call a coffee that won't stop talking?

A chat-uccino!

Why is it so cold at Christmas?

Because it's in Decembrrrr!

Why did the herbal tea feel left out?

It wasn't everyone's cup of tea!

What's the best thing to put into a Christmas cake?

Your teeth!

What did the coffee say to its date?

I like you a latte!

Why did the Christmas lights go to the therapist?

They were feeling a bit strung out!