Short Dad Jokes

Why did the espresso keep checking its watch?

It was pressed for time!

What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?

Claus-trophobia!

Why was the turkey at the Christmas party?

Because it was already dressed!

Why did the tea bag meditate?

To find its inner steep!

What's a barista's favorite exercise?

The French press!

What do reindeer say before they tell a joke?

This one will sleigh you!

Why was the coffee always so well-informed?

It read the daily grind!

Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor?

He was feeling crummy!

What did the tea say to the sugar?

You make life so sweet — don't ever dissolve on me!

Why don't tea bags ever win at sports?

They always end up in hot water!

Why does Santa always land on your roof?

Because he likes being on top of things!

What do you call a cow that just had coffee?

De-calf-inated!

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!

How does a coffee bean say goodbye?

See you latte!

Why did the ornament go to the hospital?

It had tinsel-itis!