Short Dad Jokes

Why did the coin go to the doctor?

It felt like it was losing its change!

What did the investor say to the stock market?

I find you very volatile — but I can't quit you!

What room does a ghost not need in a house?

A living room!

Why was the ATM always so calm?

It had great cash flow!

What do you call a skeleton who won't work?

Lazy bones!

What do you call money that grows on trees?

A branch account!

Why did the zombie skip school?

He felt rotten!

Why did the piggy bank go to the gym?

To build up its balance!

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?

Frostbite!

What's a stockbroker's favorite day of the week?

Fundday!

What's a vampire's favorite fruit?

A blood orange!

Why do accountants make great lovers?

They're great with figures!

What do you call a witch at the beach?

A sand-witch!

What did the quarter say to the penny?

You don't make any cents!

Why did the ghost go to the bar?

For the boos!