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What did the CEO say when the elevator broke?

I guess we'll have to take steps to fix this.

Why did the whiteboard feel so accomplished?

Because people kept saying it was remarkable.

What did the out-of-office reply say?

I'm not here right now, but your email is very important to no one.

Why did the accountant break up with the calculator?

They felt like they were just being used for their numbers.

What did one cubicle wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner — same time, same partition.

Why did the employee bring a mirror to the performance review?

They wanted to reflect on their work.

What did the project manager say to the Gantt chart?

I think we need to bar some of these tasks from the schedule.

Why did the coffee file a complaint with HR?

It was tired of being mugged every morning.

What did the resume say to the job posting?

I think we're a perfect match — on paper, at least.

Why was the meeting room always cold?

Too many frozen assets in there.