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What did the scientist say when they found two isotopes of helium?

HeHe.

Why was the pH paper such a good detective?

It could tell if something was basic right away.

What did the geologist say to the comedian?

Your jokes areite — as in they rock.

Why do biologists look forward to casual Fridays?

They can wear their genes.

What did the catalyst say at the meeting?

Let's speed things up without getting consumed by the process.

Why did the mitochondria start a business?

It had the power to be the cell's entrepreneur.

How do astronomers organize a party?

They planet.

Why did the lab rat start a podcast?

It was tired of only running through mazes — it wanted a bigger platform.

What's a physicist's favorite snack at the movies?

Microwave popcorn — they love electromagnetic radiation.

Why did the electron refuse to fight the proton?

It didn't want to be charged with assault.