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What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?

You may have graduated, but I have more degrees.

Why was the amoeba so good at math?

Because it could multiply by dividing.

What did the photon say when asked if it needed luggage?

No thanks, I'm traveling light.

Why do chemists love nitrates?

Because they're cheaper than day rates.

What did the biologist say when he finally sequenced the genome?

It was a real gene-ius move.

Why did the noble gas break up with the metal?

There was no bonding between them.

What did the hungry clock do?

It went back four seconds.

Why was the soup always the teacher's favorite?

It had a lot of broth — I mean, brains.

What did the avocado say to the toast?

Together we're smashing.

Why did the yogurt go to the art exhibit?

Because it was cultured.