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What do you call a dog that does magic?

A Labracadabrador.

Why did the clown have neck pain?

Because he slept funny.

How do you teach a kid to climb stairs?

There is a step by step guide.

Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France?

They were cooked in Greece.

What is red and smells like blue paint?

Red paint!

Why is the new Kindle screen textured to look like paper?

So you feel write at home.

Why are basketball players messy eaters?

Because they are always dribbling.

What is a tornado's favorite game to play?

Twister!

Why did the chicken get a penalty?

For fowl play.

Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?

” Because every play has a cast.