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Dad, do you think it's going to snow this winter?

I dont know, its all up in the air.

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A nervous wreck.

What do birds give out on Halloween?

Tweets.

Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

Why do cows not have toes?

They lactose!

What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?

It gets toad.

What's large, grey, and doesn't matter?

An irrelephant.

How do you know if there’s an elephant under your bed?

Your head hits the ceiling!

What’s the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant?

About 5000 miles.

What's the worst thing about ancient history class?

The teachers tend to Babylon.