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How many lips does a flower have?

Tulips.

Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?

In case he got a hole in one.

I started a new business making yachts in my attic this year...

The sails are going through the roof.

If you see a robbery at an Apple Store...

Does that make you an iWitness?

Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?

Lack of concentration.

What do you call a fly without wings?

A walk.

Why did the coffee file a police report?

It got mugged.

What’s E.T. short for?

He’s only got little legs.

Why don't programmers like nature?

Too many bugs.

I can't tell if i like this blender...

It keeps giving me mixed results.