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Why did the nail feel so important?

Because everyone kept hitting on it.

What do you call a guitar that gets everything wrong?

Out of tune with reality.

Why did the calendar break up with the clock?

Their days were numbered.

What do you call a rabbit who tells jokes?

A funny bunny.

Why did the stadium whisper?

Because it didn't want to make a scene.

Why did the roof always win arguments?

It always had the situation covered!

What do you call a plumber who sings while he works?

A pipe-r!

Why did the tile refuse to work with the grout?

Their relationship was too grouting apart!