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What do you call a clam that works out?

A mussel.

Why did the candle feel left out?

Because it was always getting burned.

What do you call a group of crows performing Shakespeare?

A murder mystery.

Why was the belt sent to jail?

For holding up a pair of pants.

What do you call a sleeping bag that snores?

A nap sack.

Why did the beekeeper get promoted?

Because he always created a buzz at work.

What do you call a snowman with abs?

An abdominal snowman.

Why did the envelope go to therapy?

It felt too much pressure to keep things sealed.

What do you call a shoe that tells lies?

A sneaker.