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What did the pants say when they were too tight?

This is a waist of my time!

Why did the t-shirt break up with the hanger?

It was tired of being strung along.

What do you call a hat that graduated top of its class?

The cap-tain of the honor roll.

Why did the thimble get promoted?

It was outstanding in its field — and never got the point.

What did the iron say to the wrinkled shirt?

I'm going to press charges.

Why was the laundry always so dramatic?

Because it kept airing its dirty laundry.

What do you call a sweater that tells the future?

A pullover prophet — it always calls for warm fronts.

Why did the vest go to the guidance counselor?

It had no arms and didn't know which direction to go.