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Why did the green tea dump the black tea?

It said their relationship was too steeped in drama.

What do you call a coffee that sues people?

Grounds for a lawsuit.

Why did the tea leaf refuse to jump in the cup?

It didn't want to get into hot water.

What did the espresso say to the french press?

You're so full of pressure!

Why did the coffee bean go to the police station?

It got mugged.

Why was the wool coat always getting into trouble?

It was always trying to pull the wool over someone's eyes.

What did the suspenders say to the belt?

You hold things together from below, but I've got the higher ground.

Why did the shoelace go to therapy?

It kept getting tied up in knots over everything.