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What do you call a woodpecker with no beak?

A headbanger.

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?

Because they lactose.

What do you get when you cross a centipede and a parrot?

A walkie-talkie.

What do you call a gorilla with bananas in each ear?

Anything you want — he can't hear you.

Why are cats great singers?

Because they're very mewsical.

What do you call a chicken staring at lettuce?

Chicken sees a salad.

Why did the spider become a web developer?

It was a natural at spinning up sites.

What did the duck say after buying new shoes?

Put it on my bill.

What do you call a sleeping lizard?

A calm-eleon.

Why don't alligators like fast food?

Because they can't catch it.