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What do you call a cow that can't produce milk?

An udder failure.

What do you call a rabbit that tells jokes?

A funny bunny.

Why did the lizard go on a diet?

It weighed too much for its scales.

What do you call a donkey with three legs?

A wonkey.

What do you call a bee that lives in America?

A USB.

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

Still no idea.

Someone complimented my parking today.

They left a little note on my windshield that said 'parking fine.'

I just found out I'm colorblind.

The diagnosis came completely out of the purple.

My cat was just sick on the carpet.

I don't think it's feline well.

I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth.

Now when I talk I have this weird axe scent.