Dad Jokes for Work

What's a pirate's worst nightmare at a restaurant?

A sunken chest — with no gold, just the buffet.

Why did the pirate refuse to say the alphabet?

Because he kept getting lost at C.

What do you call a pirate who skips class?

Captain Hooky.

Why couldn't the pirate play cards?

Because he was standing on the deck.

What did the pirate say when his wooden leg got stuck in a snowbank?

Shiver me timbers!

How do pirates prefer to communicate?

Aye to aye.

What's a pirate's favorite type of exercise?

The plank.

Why did the pirate go to school?

To improve his arrrticulation.

What did the mug say to the kettle after an argument?

That's the pot calling the kettle hot!

Why did the cappuccino feel so fancy?

It was always frothing at the top.

What do you call a tea bag that tells scary stories?

A horror brew.

Why was the decaf coffee so sad at the party?

It felt like nobody could get buzzed around it.

What did the barista say when the latte complained?

You need to espresso your feelings better.

Why did the green tea dump the black tea?

It said their relationship was too steeped in drama.

What do you call a coffee that sues people?

Grounds for a lawsuit.