Dad Jokes for Work

Why did the tea leaf refuse to jump in the cup?

It didn't want to get into hot water.

What did the espresso say to the french press?

You're so full of pressure!

Why did the coffee bean go to the police station?

It got mugged.

Why was the wool coat always getting into trouble?

It was always trying to pull the wool over someone's eyes.

What did the suspenders say to the belt?

You hold things together from below, but I've got the higher ground.

Why did the shoelace go to therapy?

It kept getting tied up in knots over everything.

What do you call a fashionable ghost?

A boo-tique shopper.

Why did the flip-flop go to court?

It kept flip-flopping on its testimony.

What did the pants say when they were too tight?

This is a waist of my time!

Why did the t-shirt break up with the hanger?

It was tired of being strung along.

What do you call a hat that graduated top of its class?

The cap-tain of the honor roll.

Why did the thimble get promoted?

It was outstanding in its field — and never got the point.

What did the iron say to the wrinkled shirt?

I'm going to press charges.

Why was the laundry always so dramatic?

Because it kept airing its dirty laundry.

What do you call a sweater that tells the future?

A pullover prophet — it always calls for warm fronts.