Dad Jokes for Work

Why did the clock get hired immediately?

It had a lot of hands-on experience.

What do you call a bear that lost all its teeth at the candy store?

A gummy bear.

Why did the blanket file a police report?

It got sheet-faced and couldn't remember what happened.

What do you call a donkey with a PhD?

A smart ass.

Why did the boat have such low self-esteem?

Everyone kept telling it to get a hull of itself.

What do you call a vegetable that's also a plumber?

A leek fixer.

Why did the window go to the counselor?

It had too many panes.

What do you call a skeleton who rings the doorbell?

A dead ringer.

Why did the magnet refuse to share?

It was too attached to everything.

What do you call a spider who's a great typist?

A web developer.

Why did the shovel win the Nobel Prize?

It was a groundbreaking invention.

What do you call an alligator who works as a surveyor?

An investi-gator.

Why did the rope feel stressed?

It was at the end of its tether.

What do you call a cow that plays the violin?

A moo-sician.

Why did the painting go to prison?

It was framed.