Dad Jokes for Work

What do you call a fish that does surgery?

A sturgeon.

Why did the math book go on a diet?

It had too many pi.

What do you call a pig that paints?

Pig-asso.

Why did the belt apply for college?

It wanted to buckle down.

What do you call a duck that loves fireworks?

A fire-quacker.

Why did the volcano break up with the earthquake?

The relationship was too rocky and things kept erupting.

What do you call a moose that makes pottery?

Harry Potter — just kidding, a kiln-deer.

Why did the elevator write its memoirs?

Its life had so many ups and downs.

What do you call a door that plays the drums?

A knock-knock musician.

Why did the calendar always win arguments?

It had the most dates.

What do you call a clam that works out?

A mussel.

Why did the candle feel left out?

Because it was always getting burned.

What do you call a group of crows performing Shakespeare?

A murder mystery.

Why was the belt sent to jail?

For holding up a pair of pants.

What do you call a sleeping bag that snores?

A nap sack.