Dad Jokes for Work

Why did the drummer name his twin daughters?

Anna One, Anna Two.

Why did the skeleton skip the party?

He had no body to go with.

What do you call a group of unorganized cats?

A cat-astrophe.

Why did the yoga instructor get fired from the bakery?

She kept telling everyone to find their inner piece.

Why did the magnet go to therapy?

It had too many issues with attraction.

What did the duck say when it bought lipstick?

Put it on my bill.

What do you call a dinosaur that crashes their car?

Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.

Why did the tailor get fired from the restaurant?

He kept pressing his own suit.

Why did the geometry teacher miss class?

She sprained her angle.

Why did the cell phone go to the dentist?

It had a Bluetooth problem.

Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.

What do you call a train loaded with bubble gum?

A chew-chew train.

Why did the broom get a promotion?

It swept the competition.

Why did the smartphone need glasses?

It lost all its contacts.

What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine's Day?

I'm stuck on you.