Short Dad Jokes

Why don't mountains ever get cold when camping?

They wear snow caps.

What did the flashlight say when it ran out of batteries?

I'm completely de-lighted.

Why did the hiking boot go to therapy?

It had too much sole-searching to do.

What do you call a mosquito that loves to hike?

A trail biter.

Why did the compass break up with the map?

It lost its sense of direction in the relationship.

What did the campfire say to the marshmallow?

You're looking pretty toasty tonight.

Why did the sleeping bag file a complaint?

It was tired of being walked all over at the campsite.

What do you call a bear that loves camping in the rain?

A drizzly bear.

Why did the tent go to the doctor?

It had too many poles and still couldn't stand up straight.

What did the ocean say to the pirate?

Nothing, it just waved — but the pirate took a bow.

Why did the pirate buy an eye patch on sale?

It was a great see-through deal.

What's a pirate's worst nightmare at a restaurant?

A sunken chest — with no gold, just the buffet.

Why did the pirate refuse to say the alphabet?

Because he kept getting lost at C.

What do you call a pirate who skips class?

Captain Hooky.

Why couldn't the pirate play cards?

Because he was standing on the deck.