Short Dad Jokes

Why did Napoleon always carry a map of France?

Because he wanted to stay on course-ica!

Why was the smartphone wearing glasses?

It lost all its contacts.

What do you call a dinosaur that knows a lot of words?

A thesaurus!

What do you call a computer that sings?

A-Dell.

Why was the history teacher always so cool?

Because they were surrounded by fans of the past!

Why did the computer go to the doctor?

It had a virus.

What did the ancient clock say to the sundial?

You're a bit behind the times!

Why did the Viking ship go to therapy?

Because it had too many Norsemen on board!

What did the ancient Greek philosopher order at the restaurant?

A Socra-tease of appetizers!

Why did the report card go to therapy?

It had too many issues — and they were all graded.

Why did the Roman Empire fall?

Because it couldn't find the right columns of support!

Why did the school bus blush?

It saw the crosswalk.

Why was the archaeology exam so easy?

Because all the answers were in ruins!

What happened when the teacher tied all the students' shoelaces together?

They went on a class trip.

What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?

The same middle name!