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What kind of key opens a banana?

A mon-key.

Why was the cucumber so cool under pressure?

Because it was already a pickle in the making.

What did the salt say to the pepper at the restaurant?

Season's greetings!

Why don't bananas ever feel lonely?

Because they hang out in bunches.

What did the egg say to the frying pan?

You crack me up.

Why did the lemon fail its driving test?

It kept making sour turns.

What do you call a sleeping pizza?

A pizz-zzza.

Why did the can crusher quit his job?

It was soda pressing.

What did the waiter say to the horse?

I can't take your order — that's a stable diet.

Why did the scarecrow become a chef?

Because he was outstanding in his field — of corn.