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Why are fish easy to weigh?

Because they have their own scales.

Why don't you find hippopotamuses hiding in trees?

They're really good at it.

Why don't skeletons ride roller coasters?

They don't have the stomach for it.

Why did Dracula lie in the wrong coffin?

He made a grave mistake.

Why did the teddy bear say “no” to dessert?

Because she was stuffed.

Why doesn't the Chimney-Sweep call out sick from work?

Because he's used to working with a flue.

Why was the shirt happy to hang around the tank top?

Because it was armless.

Why are snake races so exciting?

They're always neck and neck.

Why are mummys scared of vacation?

They're afraid to unwind.

Why should you never trust a pig with a secret?

Because it's bound to squeal.