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Every morning when I go out, I get hit by bicycle.

Every morning! It's a vicious cycle.

When will the little snake arrive?

I don't know but he won't be long...

What did the grape do when he got stepped on?

He let out a little wine.

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?

Damn!

What does a clock do when it's hungry?

It goes back four seconds!

What do you get when you cross a pig and a pineapple?

A porky pine.

A boy dug three holes in the yard.

When his mother saw, she exclaimed: "well, well, well"

When people are sad, I sometimes let them colour in my tattoos.

Sometimes all they need is a shoulder to crayon.

What do you do when your bunny gets wet?

You get your hare dryer.

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.