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How many seconds are in a year?

12. January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd.... etc.

How do you steal a coat?

You jacket.

I couldn't figure out how the seat belt worked.

Then it just clicked.

How do robots eat guacamole?

With computer chips.

Why did the A go to the bathroom and come out as an E?

Because he had a vowel movement.

Why was the robot angry?

Because someone kept pressing his buttons!

Why are pirates called pirates?

Because they arrr!

Why did the man run around his bed?

Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep!

Why do crabs never give to charity?

Because they’re shellfish.

Ever wondered why bees hum?

It's because they don't know the words.