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Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water?

Because if they fell forwards they’d still be in the boat.

Why do bees have sticky hair?

Because they use honey combs!

Why couldn't the kid see the pirate movie?

Because it was rated arrr!

Why did the cowboy have a weiner dog?

Somebody told him to get a long little doggy.

Why did the kid throw the clock out the window?

He wanted to see time fly!

Why was Pavlov's beard so soft?

Because he conditioned it.

Why did the house go to the doctor?

It was having window panes.

Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?

Because he was a little horse!

Why can't a bicycle stand on its own?

It's two-tired.

Why do pirates not know the alphabet?

They always get stuck at "C".