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What do you call a number that just can't even?

An odd number.

Why did the tangent line break up with the curve?

They only touched once and drifted apart.

What did pi say to the square root of 2 at the party?

I feel you — nobody gets us because we just go on and on.

Why was the statistician a great gardener?

He really understood plots.

What did the denominator say to the numerator during the argument?

You're being completely irrational.

Why did the polynomial break up with the monomial?

She found him too simple — she needed more terms.

What did the zero say to the negative number?

You really need to stay positive.