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Why did the conference call break up with video chat?

It said you're always freezing on me at the worst moments.

What do you call a family of musical cats?

A mew-sical ensemble!

What did the parking lot say to the employees?

I've got a lot of space for you — if you arrive early enough.

Why are dad jokes so reliable?

Because they're full of pop culture!

Why did the quarterly report go to the gym?

It needed to work on its figures.

What did the mama buffalo say when her boy left for college?

Bison!

What did the watercooler say during the office renovation?

Don't worry about me — I can handle the pressure.

Why do siblings make terrible secret agents?

Because they're always telling on each other!

Why did the job candidate bring a pencil to the interview?

They wanted to draw on their experience.

What do you call a grandfather clock?

An old timer!