“What Did The... Say” Jokes

What did the desk lamp say when it got a raise?

I'm absolutely glowing!

What did the whiteboard marker say when it retired?

I've made my mark on this company.

What did the conference table say to the chairs?

I've got you all covered.

What did the HR rep say to the scarecrow applicant?

You're outstanding in your field, but we need someone inside the office.

What did the boss say to the clock during layoffs?

Your time is up.

What did the manager say to the broken vending machine?

You really need to change.

What did the filing cabinet say during the earthquake?

I'm really shaken but still organized!

What did the elevator say to its coworkers?

I'm tired of people pushing my buttons.

What did the sticky note say when it got promoted?

I've really stuck with this company!

What did the paper clip say on its first day at work?

I'm here to hold things together!

What did the beaker say to the Erlenmeyer flask?

I see right through you — you're not as well-rounded as you think.

What did the astronaut say after their first day on the space station?

The job has no atmosphere, but the views are out of this world.

What did the calcium say to the oxygen and the nitrogen?

Together we spell CaON — but honestly, I think we're a CON.

What did the petri dish say to the bacteria colony?

You've really grown on me.

What did the nucleus say to the electrons who wanted to leave?

I'm positive you'll come back — we have such strong attraction.